Thinking of You
by hup123hup123slapslap
Summary: Nick breaks it off with Greg but they can't stop thinking about each other. Songfic to Katy Perry's song of the same title as the story. NickXGreg slash of course


I still haven't updated my other stories due to writer's block so I decided to post this crappy little thing that I wrote during Study Hall. XP Songfic to Katy Perry's _Thinking of You_

**POV**

_Song Lyrics_

_Memories/Flashbacks _(is there any difference really? Oh well)

Oh, and this might be a little jumpy so sorry.....It also switches viewpoints, but I'll tell you when so you don't get to confused.

* * *

**Greg's POV**

_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection_

No, no this isn't right. He's too eager, too demanding. His lips are chapped, his hand cold and rough. This isn't right at all. Not like when I was with _him_.

_Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed_I thought I had this figured out. I knew who I wanted, I was 100% sure. He was perfect. Too bad he didn't want me back.

_You said move on, where do I go?  
__  
"Move on Greg, we can't be together." "Why?" I knew I sounded whiny but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was too busy focusing on the fact that my very heart was breaking. "I can't be with you." I watched open mouthed as he walked away. As the door slammed shut I dropped to the floor and cried. And cried, and cried. _

_I guess second best is all I will know_

I kept going anyway. If he doesn't want to be with me I hat to try someone else. Still, it wasn't nearly as good as it could have been with him. Even if I wanted it to be.

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you  
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)_

I tried to enjoy it, I really tried. But I couldn't I was too busy thinking about him.

_Thinking of you, what you would do_

It only happened a few times, but that was enough. When all the other hands touch me I picture Nick's hands, and what they would do. How they would make me feel.  
_  
If you were the one who was spending the night  
(Spending the night, spending the night)_

Even weeks later, dozens of guys later, I couldn't find anyone who was as good as Nick, or who even made me forget him for a little while. And I felt broken. I'd slept with tons of awful, men, vulgar guys and I still couldn't stop thinking of Nick.

_Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes_

I needed to see a look that wasn't full of greed or lust, but of love. Like the look Nick used to give me. Or the one I thought he gave me. I don't know anymore. I don't even get to see his eyes at work, he's too busy staring at every girl he sees and he avoids me as much as possible. So, I guess I really was imagining the eyes filled with love. Nick never loved me, and he never will.

_You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter  
Like a hard candy with a surprise center_

He was always full of wonderful surprises. It was amazing. I never thought it was even possible to love someone so much. Maybe that's why it still hurts so bad.

_How do I get better once I've had the best?_

I kept trying. I wanted to fill the giant hole that appeared when Nick left, but I only ended up making it bigger, and now, I'm just a shadow of the person I used to be.

_You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test_

_"But Nick I thought-" "There are other people Greg, you'll find someone else." "I don't want anyone else!" "Well, that's too bad." _

_He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!  
(Taste your mouth)_

So here I am with another guys. He kissed me and for a second I tasted the familiar hint of coffee on his lips. But then I was pulled out of my day dream bu a paor of rough hands sliding down my back. Now, the guy just tasted like alcohol.

_He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself_

The guy, I still don't know his name, roughly pulled me closer. I stayed still while he started to pull off my shirt. I didn't want to do this anymore. I tried to pull away but his hand squeezed down on my arm, hard, and he hit me. I reluctantly started to touch him back. I didn't have the strength to fight this guy off me.

**Nick's POV**

_'Cause when I'm with her I am thinking of you  
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)_

I grimanced when her squeaky voice sounded in my ear. Why was I here with this completely annoying girl? Why do I suddenly think that after finally having sex with a guy and finally admitting to myself that I was gay I could just become straight by some miracle? I don't want to be gay. I want to like girls. I don't want to love Greg. I'd left him because it seemed like the only way I could be happy but I was dead wrong.

_Thinking of you, what you would do_

I started kissing her, I didn't want to but I felt like I needed to. She giggled annoyingly and got up, leading me to her bedroom. I remembered the time Greg had said it was dumb to have sex in the bed, they slept in there for God's sake! His logic was so dumb, but I hadn't minded it so much. Right now I missed practically getting attacked by him as we were alone, regardless the place.

_If you were the one who was spending the night  
(Spending the night, spending the night)_

Greg was so much more rough and manly. This girl that I don't know the name of was just gentle and hesitant. I tried to stop thinking about him but I just couldn't Weeks had passed and I still couldn't. What the hell is wrong with me?

_Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes_

Ugh, her eyes were so dull! Greg's were always so bright and sparkling with mischief, laughter, or love. These looked almost dead, the girl's life goal was probably to sleep with ton of guys. I guess I'm not much better though. I'd been with hundreds of girls, trying to find one I could actually love. No luck so far.

_  
You're the best, and yes, I do regret  
How I could let myself let you go_

It's no use. All I can think about is Greg. And I was the one who broke of with him and broke his heart. I could tell by the way he just went through the motions at work. Kind of like he was doing now too. And why? Because I wasn't strong enough to fully admit to myself that I was gay. _Really_ gay. How could I have done that to him?

_Now, now the lesson's learned  
I touched it, I was burned  
Oh, I think you should know!_

I need him. I'm ready to accept that I'm in love with him. Trying to make myself like girls isn't working, and never will. I need to tell him everything. He deserves to know. I just hope he'll still love me back. I jumped out of what-her-name's bed and started getting dressed, completely ignoring her protests. I needed to find the man I loved and apologize.

**Greg's POV**

_Oh, won't you walk through?  
And bust in the door and take me away?_

I sat curled up on the floor. I can't do it anymore. Why can't I just accept that Nick doesn't love me? Why can't I move on? Why do I have to keep hooking up with random guys that hurt me just to feel alive again? I wiped my nose. The snot that came with crying was mixing with the dried blood that hadcome from my nose when whats-his-name hit me. I hadn't found the will to move once that guy left. Hadn't found the will to care about anything except Nick. I'm officially broken. I jumped when someone started to pound on my door, but I ignored it the best I could. It was probably just one of my one night stands coming back for god knows what.

**Nick's POV**

_Oh, no more mistakes  
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay_

I used the key Greg had given me all those weeks ago when he didn't answer his door. I didn't even stop to consider that he might not be there. My heart almost stopped when I saw him. His whole body was riddled with bruises. He was also pale and thin. Had he caused this? I ran over to him. "Greg?" Greg looked up at me with dull eyes. "Nick?" I nodded and sat down next to him. "I'm so sorry Greg I do love you. I was just afraid of being with a guy, but I'm not anymore. I need you, and that's all I know." I said this all so quickly that when there was a pause before Greg said anything I wasn't sure if he'd understood. I was about to repeat myself when Greg whisped, "I need you too." I smiled and let the first tears fall as I pulled his frail body into my lap, careful to avoid the bruises. I'd ask him about those later. "I love you." I whispered. I held my breath, waiting for a reply. Greg looked up at me with eyes filled with love. "I love you too."

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See? Told you it was crappy. Hehe  
I changed some lyrics, and cut the third chorus out but whatever, I was too lazy lol

Review please!


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